favorite email I have sent out...🍵
my closest girlfriends give me advice on my 30th birthday.
the 30th element in the periodic table is zinc - found everywhere from every cell in our body to food we eat and products we use. zinc also has what we call “self-healing” mechanism, where it sacrifices itself to prevent rust.
I am hoping my year 30 feels a bit like this. everywhere, all consuming, self-healing essential hug from the universe.
I have written my birthday learnings all through my twenties (22, 23, 24, 25, 27, 28, 29)!!!
for my thirties, I tried making a list. I looked around for what inspires me when I think of them. and realized I don’t have to look far…
am surrounded by some of the strongest, warmest women I call my girlfriends, and honestly they are so cool I wanna be them when I grow up. so I just slid into their DMs to ask for advice on turning 30.
what followed was not just a text exchange, but a deep conversations of our hopes and fears and limitations and dreams. and honestly this could just be one of the best presents I could have given myself.
I am sharing this with you as this felt the most authentic piece of writing I can share with you on this milestone. I have added little intros to my coolest grilfriends and tempered it with bits I resonated with. hope you love reading this as much as I loved putting this together.
niki
(we worked together in bumble and now are professional inter-continental long distance besties having met in US, UK, Mexico and India)
Real growth that lasts is usually sustainable and consistent, not a spurt over a short time period. Go slow to go fast when you are in your 30s. - niki
one of my favorite quotes recently that sums up my life philosophy too is - an ultramarathon is won by not who is the fastest but by the one who slows down the least.
keep going, keep crawling. keep scaling your personal mountains. just keep moving.
kuori
(actually spelled as kuwari but we have come to a mutual agreement that I can spell it like this)
my advice to you is sometimes everything you have worked for and dreamed for yourself - ends up failing. it only means it's time you chased even bigger goals - kuori
this made me reflect on all the things that did not go to plan in my twenties and I can point out a few big soul-crushing I-wanna-give-up moments. now looking back, I am glad they did not work out?
I wanna agree with kuori and say that when universe doesn’t give you what you want - it just means its not allowing you to settle for less. a no is often a redirection.
catrina
(we were neighbours in barcelona and became friends during lockdown. she sends me the best voice notes + pictures every time she eats good indian food!)
my advice to you is it‘s okay to not have everything figured out already or by a certain date, there‘s always a journey ahead. - catrina
this reminds me of the time I was 23 and graduating uni. I was quite sure this is it - now begins a long boring adult life. I have peaked. and I could not have been more wrong!
there is always a journey ahead - and you can make it what you want it to be. everything is figureourable, and you have time.
rukmini
(we met on insta - she appeared on my search page and I sent her a message in 2019. she was the first person I called when we wanted to elope for our wedding, and she showed up.)
I never think of birthdays or age as special days or numbers- the general rule is do what your heart says. don’t fall into the trap of thinking you must do certain things by 30 or stop doing certain things after. - rukmini
this has been my massive unlearning in my twenties. that I don’t need to do things by the book and society rules can be considered guidelines at best - moving countries, living alone/ living in with my boyfriend, having a small wedding, I count all of these as some of my best decisions.
it doesn’t need to be the right decision, only needs to be the right decision for you. and once you do take that decision, you don’t need to explain yourself.
chelsea
(we met in university - she taught me how to have faith. she always told me she would pray for me. she is the reason I pray for my friends.)
slow down and live. Or it's not the end of the world if you can't tick off your to do list. - chelsea
lol I should ask chelsea to send me weekly voice notes reminding me the same. and she probably would!
when I was reflecting at 25 on what could be my biggest regret when I turn thirty - it was always that I did not have enough fun. so I made sure it wasn’t a regret, and it isn’t.
slowing down, not chasing the next milestone, enjoying, living up all the hardwork. going into this next decade, I would love to keep up this balance.
mum
(needs no explanation - she has been my best friend all through my life, I don’t know how she managed to do that.)
as you grow old, you get used to of giving people what they need and you tend to lose track of your identity over years. my sincere wish is that this doesn't happen to you! - mum
my mum always knows what to tell me even when I don’t know it myself/ or have been avoiding telling myself.
as the roles in my life increase (wife, daughter-in-law, daughter who lives abroad, manager, plant mom) - I have found myself increasingly slicing my time and energy to redistribute. this is something I need to realign for the coming decade.
you can never pour from an empty cup, and I need to remember that well.
dara
(again, a bumble bestie I run to when things feel too hard at work or in life. she has a way of giving me power and strength.)
Have confidence in your choices, trust your gut and focus your energy on building community, on your loved ones and on what brings you joy instead of what you think will get you somewhere specific. - dara
I was (still am) a people pleaser and have seeked so much validation and approval for my choices.😅 last year or so, I really have started listening to my gut a little bit more and standing strong in my preferences - and I am so excited to see how this part of me evolves in coming years.
the voicenotes, the messages, the pictures my girlfriends sent me are going into my personal treasure box. I hope you too found a gem or so for yourself in there.
one more thing,
I am starting a youtube channel!!!
more on this over the weekend.
talk soon.
chhavi x
cant wait for yt :)
Happy birthday chhavi! This was such a wholesome one to read:”)