how to build trust with stakeholders 🍵 just design tea #13

Apr 18, 2023

I spent a wonderful day in a town in Windsor visiting a school friend. We weren’t like best friends back then, but when she moved to UK and we reconnected on Instagram, it was like no time has passed.

There is this instant trust and connection with school friends. 🥹

But what about people we work with?

When I was just out of college, I struggled with how do I get my team to trust me while battling that imposter syndrome. When I moved jobs or joined new teams, I wondered how do I get these people to trust that I am a good designer.

That trust is crucial to set up equitable relationships with cross-functional stakeholders like product managers, engineers, and senior leadership.

..and then when you finally start leading teams? That trust can be everything!

So how do you build that trust?

I just want to add one more thing before we start. You can do all these to create trust. But do remember it’s a two-way street. Both parties need to make equal effort to build and sustain that trust in a relationship. So never take all of it on yourself.❤️

building relationships on shared empathy

With my school friend there was this trust that came along. Trust that comes with having shared experiences - studying in the same all-girls catholic school, having parents back in our idyllic home town.

It’s along the lines of affinity bias. You like people who care about similar things like you.

Like say if someone reached out to you on LinkedIn and they went to the same university or school like you, you are instantly more ready to help them out.

How does it translate into relationships at work?

First, make time to get to get to know a person. Professionally and personally. That’s how you can find these areas of shared empathy.

Second, be authentic.

If you are trying to build relationships by not being authentic, they end up being transactional (you do this for me, and I do this for you) or based on power dynamics (you are my manager).

For this to work, bring your true whole selves to this conversations. Even the cringy bits.

I love trashy reality shows. I love nail art. I love talking about books and travel and shopping. I love to dissect how social media apps. I like to think about processes and productivity. I am trying to find a new protein powder.

All of these interests have helped me find a shared empathy with people I work with. I don’t work with Sam. I work with Sam who is also into books, reality shows, and knows a good protein powder.

showcasing your expertise

When starting a new job or team, don’t be shy to introduce yourselves.

“Oh my work will speak for me”

First of all, sadly not true. Topic for another time.

Second, even if it does it will not mind a nice Jimmy Fallon-ish intro as it walks up to the stage!

Set up a solid context for the audience that is working with you. Include companies/teams you have worked with, a nice project or two, and a bit about you and your working style.

Find occasions where you can do a show-n-tell of your work.

For example, you could present an end-to-end case study you did to your cross-functional team.

The self-confidence glows, and we all know it.

consistency

One nice presentation, or one nice document will not really help bestie.😭

To earn trust, you have to consistently show up.

At work consistency can look like

Being on time in meetings
Sharing timely updates across channels
Asking the right questions, being engaged, suggesting solutions
Delivering as per timelines

Building trust takes time, and there is no shortcut to it. Consistency is a magic bullet that compounds all that you do over time!

anticipating challenges proactively

If someone comes to you, tells you what might go wrong and proposes how to fix it, which then saves you a lot of time and maybe money, how likely are you to trust them?

Don’t think big like SVB crash or wildfire on Twitter!

Sorting conflicting meetings. Setting up time for time to brainstorm. Highlighting blockers or delays. Raising shared concerns.

If people can assume based on few factors that you are most likely on it, they are likely to trust you more.

self awareness + trusting your gut

Imposter syndrome is the loudest voice in the audience, especially when you are dealing with difficult stakeholders.

I have been there. I have assumed that what that senior designer thinks of my skills is how my skills are.

Setting up guardrails against projections of other people’s agenda, imposter syndrome, and difficult stakeholders can save you a lot of work tears.

Put in feedback loops - could be a simple google form you send out every quarter. Be open to discussions with your manager on your strengths and weaknesses. Be aware of difference between learning curve vs imposter syndrome.

Some of my favorite things this week

📗 Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

I read it on train to windor, and on a boat there. It’s a beautiful beautiful book, and I think of my favs this year so far.

📝 How Duolingo reignited user growth by Jorge Mazal

If you are a fan of Duolingo, you will find this one full of gems.

📺 Only Murders in the building

Sambhav and I started watching this and this is one of those rare series we both love equally. I think I love it more because it reminds me so much of my loved Thursday Mystery Club book series.

Talk next week, Chhavi x

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